


Alive

by Occasus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Established Relationship, Injured Levi, M/M, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 15:37:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13744026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Occasus/pseuds/Occasus
Summary: A recent injury has left Levi too fragile to be useful in the field. But he refuses to let Erwin go on a recon mission without him, knowing he faces a greater risk without Levi at his back to protect him.Erwin won’t endanger the life of his strongest soldier just because Levi is too stubborn to accept his weakness. He needs him to stay alive... and to be waiting on him when he returns.





	Alive

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Живой](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15972701) by [kira_sky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kira_sky/pseuds/kira_sky)



> My first AOT fic. I’m just a few years late to this party. Eruri has a hold on me folks.

“I’m going.” Levi said defiantly. Commander or not, Erwin wasn’t going to stop him from going on a reconnaissance mission. 

What did he expect him to do? Sit on his ass and be a useless—

“Can you stand?” Erwin asked, crossing his arms over his broad chest. 

“Yes,” Levi snapped and swung his legs around, letting them dangle off the bedside so that his bare toes brushed the floor. He refused to look down at his feet. 

Erwin’s attention, of course, flicked downwards immediately. Calm blue eyes studied the injured ankle before raking back up to Levi’s face. 

“Can you?” The commander asked again, deep voice dripping with skepticism. 

_Damn it._

In truth, the ankle still hurt like a bitch. Putting weight on it was excruciating, and the thought of cramming it into a boot and letting it swell within the rigid confines of leather, hooked through a saddle stirrup, was unbearable. 

But Levi refused to stay behind. He’d fight through the pain. He just had to prove to Erwin that his very-much-still-sprained ankle was fine and in top condition. 

He slid off the mattress, forcing himself to balance his weight evenly on both feet. The instant his right foot hit the floor, his nerve endings lit up, pain registering so sharply his vision spotted. He forced his expression to stay calm, locking down his focus to keep from reacting to the white hot pain shooting from his ankle down into his toes. 

“See?” he growled in annoyance, “It’s fine.”

“I see.” Erwin said, unconvinced. “I suppose there’s no need to keep it wrapped then.” His blue eyes flashed knowingly. 

“I suppose not.” Levi muttered, flopping unceremoniously back onto the bed. Rage made his skin feel hot as he crossed his legs and started undoing the binding of the wrap. 

_Fucking Erwin._ The bastard knew he had Levi backed into a corner, and he stood there watching calmly, a lion toying with it’s trapped prey. 

Levi violently pulled the bandages loose, revealing wine colored stains across his ivory skin the farther down he went. His typically slender ankle was hideously swollen, even after being bound tightly, and it hurt like hell to even touch the damn thing. Underneath the bruises, the joint throbbed like it had its own heartbeat. 

“Levi,”

Erwin’s voice had softened. 

_”What?”_

He hadn’t realized Erwin had approached him until hands twice the size of his own gingerly took his wrists, stopping him from unwinding the wrap any further. 

“You’re staying.” 

Levi’s head snapped up furiously, his jaw clenching until his teeth clicked together. “No—“

“It’s not up for debate.” Erwin’s thick fingers were surprisingly gentle as he held Levi’s foot in his palm and started wrapping the ankle again, covering up the ugly purple bruises. “This foot is in no shape to walk, let alone ride or—“

“You’ll lose more lives without me.” Levi interrupted, pulling his foot back. 

“Perhaps.” Erwin said, unaffected. His hands followed Levi’s movement, continuing to wind the bandage with calm uniformity, fingers warm against Levi’s skin. His impassive attitude was maddening. 

“I’m too valuable for you to leave behind.” Levi snarled and knocked Erwin’s hands away. “You know I’m right. I’m fucking going with you, Erwin. I’m no use to anyone sitting here on my ass wasting resources.” 

“You’re of no use to me dead, either.” Erwin replied. 

“I thought you’d have more faith in me than that.” Levi spat bitterly. 

“And I thought you’d be smarter than to try lie to me. Or to think you’re invincible.”

Levi ignored the counterattack. He took up the bandage where Erwin had left off, winding it carelessly, being too rough. His ankle screamed in protest under the harsh treatment, but the pain was a good outlet for his frustration, something to focus on besides his anger, and he wound the bandage tighter. 

Erwin scowled and straightened, quietly watching from his superior height. 

Levi sighed in annoyance, tucked the wrap a final time, and lowered his foot carefully back to the floor with a wince. No need to hide how much it hurt now. 

“Postpone the mission.” He said, though he knew it was a stupid thing to say. 

“Levi.” Erwin’s spoke his name sharply, the second syllable resonating like a slap. His way of telling Levi it was time to shut up and drop it. 

“Get some rest,” the commander continued, turning to leave. “Stay off of that foot, you understand me? I need you ready for the next one when it comes.”

Levi laughed bitterly. “So sure you’ll make it back from this one?” 

Erwin ignored him, his boots thundering across the floor. 

Levi wondered if this was the last time he’d ever hear those stupid, giant feet stomping around his room. 

He would never admit it, but watching Erwin turn and walk away, walk fearlessly into the jaws of death without him, terrified him to his marrow. Imagining him out in the field, vulnerable without Levi there to watch his back, was unbearable. 

“Erwin.” 

The commander paused with the door ajar, his hand on the knob. He half turned, looking back over his shoulder so the sunlight from the windows out in the corridor fell across his profile and bathed him in gold. 

“You need me.” Levi hissed through his teeth. 

Erwin’s expression softened, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “Yes,” he agreed, his flaxen lashes fluttering closed, “More than you know.”

Levi heard his own breath catch, betraying him. He hated when his emotions leaked through the hard facade he worked so hard to keep in place. Erwin was the only person would could jerk them so effortlessly to the surface. 

“That’s why I need you to stay here. I can’t trust you to stay alive when you’re injured,” Erwin continued, turning fully to face him and pulling the door closed again. His blue eyes sparked with light, “I need you alive, Levi. I won’t risk losing you to your own hard-headed stubbornness. Understand?”

Levi didn’t answer him. He wanted to limp over to him, wrap his arms around those thick shoulders and press his face into Erwin’s breastbone, inhale his masculine scent and beg him to stay, to wait for him. 

To never leave. 

But he didn’t. He simply looked down at his crippled ankle, the injury that might keep him from ever seeing Erwin again, and said nothing. 

Silence stretched between them. Erwin knew Levi well. He knew he was holding in unspoken words, and stood patiently waiting for him to decide whether or not he wanted to free them. 

“Don’t you have a mission to lead?” Levi finally snapped.

Erwin chuckled, then wordlessly turned back to the door. Levi watched him twist the knob, and felt his guts squeezing up with the turn of Erwin’s wrist. 

_Be safe. Be careful. Come back to me._

Levi said none of the words that lodged in his throat, choking him. He watched Erwin’s wide shoulders fill the doorframe, his hair shimmer gold in the sunlight that spilled from the windows for an instant before he disappeared out into the corridor. 

The door slammed shut with a final bang, followed by a silence like death. 

Levi hung his head, hating himself. He clenched his fists on his thighs and stared down at the accursed injury that kept him shackled behind the walls while his comrades risked their lives out in the field. While they died without him. 

While Erwin potentially died without him. 

“Fucking coward,” he whispered under his breath. It was quite possibly the last time he would ever see Erwin Smith, and he’d sent him away without so much as a good luck.

Perhaps it was best. Erwin was a light too bright for Levi to harbor in his cold heart. A giant, blazing sun where Levi was only a frigid planet, spinning in his orbit, gravitating to him. 

“You don’t deserve him. _Coward.”_

Still, if worse came to worst? Levi was the only one who could save him. 

The door flew open, sending a sudden shaft of light tumbling over Levi. He jerked his head up, squinting towards the brightness. 

He barely had time to register Erwin’s shape before the commander crossed the room and pressed him into the mattress, springs creaking in protest of the extra weight. 

Erwin’s mouth was rough and hungry when it smashed against Levi’s. His breath left him on a rush, his lips parting to let Erwin in. Calloused hands cupped his face as Erwin’s tongue thrust into his mouth, claiming him, scattering his thoughts and draining all the anger from him. 

He gripped the lapels of Erwin’s jacket so tightly his knuckles ached, holding on to him for dear life while Erwin kissed him senseless. It was heated and possessive, their mouths slatted together, all wet lips and clacking teeth, until Levi was breathless and dizzy and aching between his legs. 

“This is a hell of a goodbye,” He panted when they broke apart for a moment. “What made you come back?”

“I had to leave you with something to remember me by.” Erwin rumbled, leaning back just far enough that Levi caught the sapphire glint of his eyes. 

“Oh yeah?” Levi sneered, “What’s that?”

Erwin’s answer was a rough hand sliding up the close-shaved fuzz at the nape of Levi’s neck, into the longer strands of his hair where he fisted up a handful and yanked his head back to lavish the exposed column of his throat with bruising, open-mouthed kisses. His other hand snaked between their bodies, the heat of his palm going between Levi’s legs to cup him through the tight fabric of his pants. 

_“Fuck--Erwin.”_ Levi arched into the touch, rolling his hips. 

Erwin chuckled darkly next to his ear and nipped at the tender flesh when he whispered, “This is why I need you to stay. I need you to live, to be here when I return, so we can finish this.” 

The heel of Erwin’s hand rubbed at him, the pressure and warmth of his touch maddening against Levi’s swollen cock. Erwin pressed a lingering kiss beneath his jaw, over the place where his pulse raced wildly. 

“Feel that?” The commander whispered, nuzzling Levi’s throat. Down below, his persistent hand coaxed a muffled moan out of him. “This is what it feels like to be _alive,_ Levi.” Another kiss brushed over his carotid, Erwin’s tongue stroking across the sensitive skin. “I need you to stay that way.”

Levi never felt more alive than when he was with Erwin. His heart pounded and his head spun and his body sang with desire. Erwin awakened something primal in him, something vital that made the very blood in his veins hum with energy. 

_Alive._

Too soon Erwin released him, straightening, leaving Levi sprawled dazedly on the bed with his breath heaving from his lungs and his cock shamelessly tenting his fly. 

“Bastard,” he huffed. “You could at least fuck me.” 

Erwin grinned, running a hand over his blond hair to coax it back into order. He righted his jacket and smoothed the front of his shirt, adjusted the very noticeable arousal at the center of his hips to make it less obscenely obvious. 

“If I don’t get going, I’ll never leave.” 

Levi considered sliding back off the mattress and dropping to his knees, encourage Erwin to stick around a little longer, but he held himself back.

“Come back to me.” He began, voice rough, “Don’t you fucking die out there. You survive. You come home to me.” 

“I will.” Erwin promised, though they both knew there were no promises in the Survey Corps. Nothing was guaranteed, not victory, and certainly not survival.

Levi was glad he got to remember Erwin like this. If he had to lose him, the memory of him here, standing in his room with his face flushed and his blue eyes smoldering with lust, was the perfect image to have left behind. 

The memory of him living and breathing and in the flesh, wanting Levi as badly as Levi wanted him. 

“Think of me.” Erwin said, taking a step backward towards the door.

 _Every day_. Levi thought, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He settled for a nod instead, and watched the commander as he paused in the doorway. He was a heartbreakingly beautiful sight as he stood there, framed in the light once more. 

Erwin cast one last longing look over his shoulder, sky blue meeting gunmetal gray, before he was gone again. 

The door clapped closed, casting the room in shadow as if Erwin’s absence sucked the very light out of the world. 

“You better fucking stay alive,” Levi whispered to the empty room. 

In the silence that followed, he had never felt more alone.


End file.
